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Strange BUT Untrue

Making Things Go Bang

Let's face it - the sole reason many people so love Pharmacy is that it involves lots of huge explosions. Explosions happen when two substances are mixed together because the tiny particles in the two substances start fighting and throw each other around. As with any other fight, the result is that things get in one great big mess, and people get hurt as a result. But Pharmacists love making things go bang because (usually) they aren't the ones suffering from the results of the latest particle disagreement (that's what wars are for, in case you didn't know).

One of the greatest Pharmacists of all time was Mr Guy Fawkes, who dedicated his life to making things go bang and later died as a martyr to his cause after he tried to do a perfectly legitimate experiment beneath the Houses of Parliament with several large barrels of gunpowder. Unfortunately, the monarch of the time was a devoted Phydlsticist and had him executed for daring to take part in an illegal science. November 5th is still set aside in his memory, and modern Pharmacists show off their newest Bangs every year to watching crowds.

A new era of bangs began with Nobel's invention of Dynamite. Nobel however was not a true Pharmacist, and so wanted to use the invention for peaceful purposes only. But soon things were back on track as people started using the new invention to do great damage to people and property.

We at Strange BUT Untrue love bangs, and so on this very page we intend to provide you with the very latest in Bang-Making Technology; Nuclear Bombs:

To make a Nuclear Bomb, you will need:

Nuclear waste is used instead of nuclear fuel because you can probably get some from your local river, where the power plant dumps it every other Tuesday. (Fish with three eyes are very tasty and can be obtained from the same spot.) Put the waste in the oven (Gas Mark 3) for about ten minutes (the oven will need to be replaced afterwards) and then transfer it to a greased baking tin and put the whole lot in the box (as quickly as you possibly can) along with the detonator. Put it in the cellar of a public building (in memory of Guy Fawkes), retreat to a safe distance, and activate the detonator.

Even if you don't get quite the bang you hoped for, everyone in the building should be dead within twenty years, or at least mutated enough so you can't tell who they are.

By this time you may have had enough of Making Things Go Bang, and realise that it should be left to the professionals. You're probably right.

Pharmacy Page