You might think that plants and animals are the only Squidgy Things around. You might think this - because you are but a beginner in the world of Squidgy Things. However, there are several other categories of living being, which will be discussed here.
Well... they have to be good for something, and since they sit around
all day doing nothing we decided that they are probably a variety of
human with grey skin and without legs, arms, or a head. Using the
very latest in Guesswork Technology(tm) we have put together a
picture of what a rock looks like inside, and here it is:
Okay, so we haven't quite worked out some of the finer anatomical details (like how stuff gets into the stomach) yet, but hey, give us a break, we're working on it. In the near future we expect to be able to bring you details of the Glacier - a relative of the rock that can actually move from place to place.
Aliens do exist, because I say so. They are not classified as plants or animals, because they are shaped like people but coloured green (like plants). Triffids were actually aliens who were shaped and coloured like plants. They arrived on Earth to find a large plant civilisation well stocked with people to eat, and promptly tried to colonise. Humanity wasn't understanding enough to shut up and be eaten, so we killed them off. This is why there are now very few alien visitations to planet Earth.
Otherwise known as mythical creatures, these are things that don't actually exist. Well... they do exist, but if you ask them then they'll categorically deny it, so it's probably best to believe them. Creatures such as Unicorns, Centaurs and Austin Powers are metaphysical, although these days Political Correctness is forcing us to call them Existentially Challenged.
These are very clever machines who act stupid to try and drive us all out of our minds, at which point they will step in and take over the world. They have a large flat head known as the Monitor, two limbs called Mouse and Joystick, and a brain called the CPU. Few people know that they also possess a stomach which is used for swallowing all your work whenever the mood takes it - which is often. The computers main flaw is a lack of decent legs. This could stop them from managing to take over the world, but that doesn't worry them as scientists seem to be obligingly making bodies for them which they call Robots.
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